Do you ever notice the strange dark humor in the tragedies of life? Something almost mocking you for being in the dark deep pit if the terrible circumstances you find yourself in?
Sometimes when you find yourself as a victim of someone's frustration or anger a faint smile crosses your face. like you're amused by how preposterous and unrealistic things are in that moment.
THAT dark humor. and that's also when you're helpless. you cant even understand it enough to say something. your mouth just hangs open and no words come out, bewildered.
and even though it happens a lot you're never quite prepared for it. the expression remains pretty much the same every time. you're the weak one. so nothing you say or do would change the other person. and so you find yourself stuck. at the end of the rope. so what do you do ? keep holding on to the end of the rope like a textbook optimist seeing light at the end of the dark depressing tunnel? or do you let go? relieve yourself of the pain?
everyone would have a different interpretation of 'letting go'. but mind you, what i am talking about doesn't come close to what any optimist might come up with. my interpretation has a greater affinity for the negative one, much closer to a hardcore pessimist's.
but i'm not a total fool. as easy an escape route as popping pills and slicing wrists(painful)sounds it really defeats the purpose of escaping. you would wish to escape sadness, to be happy. but then you wont be around to feel even that if you follow such an 'exit strategy'.
i'm not a glass-half-full kind of a person, either.so i know sticking around in such a helpless situation doesnt really help you achieve the seemingly simple goals of peace and happiness. going through all this doesn't really let you live either. so purpose defeated. yet again.
so you see how no matter what option you choose you'd end up depressed and eventually just create an air of morbidity around you. now that's appealing to people!
its a struggle, a struggle with no actual benefits. but the whole thing still sort of makes me smile.
Sometimes when you find yourself as a victim of someone's frustration or anger a faint smile crosses your face. like you're amused by how preposterous and unrealistic things are in that moment.
THAT dark humor. and that's also when you're helpless. you cant even understand it enough to say something. your mouth just hangs open and no words come out, bewildered.
and even though it happens a lot you're never quite prepared for it. the expression remains pretty much the same every time. you're the weak one. so nothing you say or do would change the other person. and so you find yourself stuck. at the end of the rope. so what do you do ? keep holding on to the end of the rope like a textbook optimist seeing light at the end of the dark depressing tunnel? or do you let go? relieve yourself of the pain?
everyone would have a different interpretation of 'letting go'. but mind you, what i am talking about doesn't come close to what any optimist might come up with. my interpretation has a greater affinity for the negative one, much closer to a hardcore pessimist's.
but i'm not a total fool. as easy an escape route as popping pills and slicing wrists(painful)sounds it really defeats the purpose of escaping. you would wish to escape sadness, to be happy. but then you wont be around to feel even that if you follow such an 'exit strategy'.
i'm not a glass-half-full kind of a person, either.so i know sticking around in such a helpless situation doesnt really help you achieve the seemingly simple goals of peace and happiness. going through all this doesn't really let you live either. so purpose defeated. yet again.
so you see how no matter what option you choose you'd end up depressed and eventually just create an air of morbidity around you. now that's appealing to people!
its a struggle, a struggle with no actual benefits. but the whole thing still sort of makes me smile.
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