Aaahh and the bell rings. Have to go. Will complete this later. Ciao!! :)
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
I don't have stories
I have no stories to tell. When with my friends and we are all talking about the 'Good-ol-days' I just sit there, cross-legged, gaping open-mouthed listening to the narration of their lives. Marveling at the fun things they did, the meaningful experiences they had. 'Ooh'-ing and 'Aah'-ing at all the right places. But, somehow I miss not being the person who is being marveled at, the person who's stories people laugh at. Its not like my life has been empty, completely deprived of memories and little funny incidences. Its just something that is holding me back from letting it out. I'm aware that its nothing major that I would say. It would all be part of something absolutely normal, like any other person sharing their experiences. but, maybe with the group of new people being the audience I hesitate because I feel what I have to say borders inconsequential. Maybe it doesn't sound as 'cool' as their stories about school and friends and family. I cover this hesitation by labeling my life as boring and blaming hatred for school for not being involved enough to have any stories. But, I know ...........
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7 comments:
But you speak well about yourself. You study yourself and reveal at least some of what you see. So you are your story. The rest is simply a matter of confidence and developing a sense of what the people around you would find interesting. Until you develop those things, staying quiet invites interest. At least, it does from people like me. I've found that this phenomenon usually indicates a feeling of being excluded. That's a bigger subject.
If it helps, I find you interesting.
:) Thank you.
Maybe I do feel excluded. I've never actually been able to connect to many people. So, there is always a sense of not feeling like you belong there, thus excluded.
I know the feeling well. I think it all comes down to learning about yourself - changing what you can and achieving at least some level of comfort with the things you can't. And I'd like to say this, if you'll permit it.
I read a lot of blogs. Many of them are written by teenage girls. I do so because I'm curious, because its the area of human experience I know least about. What little you say is more meaningful and more interesting than what most of them come out with. Who you are seems like an interesting story. Prepare for a struggle, though. Truly interesting people rarely fit in with the crowd.
:)
Thanks for the motivation. I need it. :)
I hear you. And I know what you're talking about. And I think it makes sense and is natural to feel that way. Everyone takes their time to open up, break their shell. :)
I don't know if I would ever break out of this particular shell, Roshni.
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