How easy is it to let new people in your life, open up to them and then watch them go away? Not at all. So, what do you do? Not let them in at all, don't form any sort of attachment or bond with them? You certainly can't stop them from going. If they have to go, they will. Then how do you deal with it, or prevent it?
when people leave abruptly, over some issue or whatever reason it may be, its so difficult to deal with the pain of loss. But lets not mull over that. its a completely different discussion in itself. I want to consider the idea of knowing that you have to let go of someone in a matter of days, or months.
What do you do when you know that the friend or family member you were so close to, so attached to, will leave you in a matter of months? Obviously, it doesn't mean all shreds of communication will be broken between the two but then there is a possibility along with the surety that things won't be the same. If its a friend who is going off to some other state or country to study or someone changing school or a senior passing out of college< :) >. You know you would be totally crushed not being able to see those people everyday, not having them as a part of your everyday life. But then its inevitable. Nothing can be done to change this.
Do you distance yourself beforehand so it becomes easier later? Stop calling, texting(or at least bring it down a few notches)? Or do you make the best of whatever time is left? So you have good, happy memories for later?
Maybe I should just take the middle path and let things be the way they are. Deal with the things in the future in the future itself. These seemingly small issues can have a huge impact and I guess since I realise this, these questions keep popping up in my head all the time, sometimes at 5 in the morning!!!
I'll leave it to time, for now.
6 comments:
its very scary swati..ur right..n perhaps scarier for the person who has to go..enter a new world, get out of an old one..
they say we should welcome changes, but honestly, how?? i think to myself the exact same thoughts.. until realisation dawned upon me today in the morning, wen i ws toking to my mother n telling her how scared i was to welcome changes in my life 2 n a half yrs back..n funnily, how Now its exactly those same changes that i dont want to get away frm now, that have impacted my life so much..its really crazy how things work for u :)
but one thing i cn tell with certainty, changes dont mean that old things wud come to an end..it simply means the incoming of further new things n that requires the creation of a little space... there is no harm in reducing the intensity of something old to fit in something new with it..2 is always better than one, right? ;)
so yes, changes ARE indeed for the better, no matter how adamant we are in not wanting to accept them..the thought is scary, but the outcome is a miracle :)
I think the problem with distancing yourself before they leave is that it would produce its own tension - for both of you. And then when they do leave, you would likely feel guilty or unfulfilled because you hadn't made the most of the available time. It would be different if you expected that person to consciously reject you, but that isn't the case you describe.
Making the most of what time you've got probably makes the actual parting slightly more painful, but in the long run I'm sure it's better. The aftermath of the parting would probably be much easier to bear.
@panvi- I just realised, no matter how afraid you are or not, you just end up getting shoved in with the changes anyways! And people leave then they come back!! And in the end I don't think it matters. People keep moving in and out of our lives. We can't keep track of all of them. Might as well give up on the whole institution of it.
@JJ-The long run. everything is easier in the long run. Industry expansion, producing at least cost and getting over things, too.( I am an Economics' student) But things always happen in the short run. That is the sad part. You have to deal with the pain now!
HAHA Swati, i cn see ur heavily studying for ur exams :P
Haha!! Even if I am not, whatever ET teaches in her class stays! FOREVER!! :D
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